I’m sure it’s just an oversight, but for some reason the people at the Criterion Collection have yet to send me my invitation to pick movies from The Criterion Closet. Probably a clerical error and nothing to do with the fact that I’m neither famous nor interesting.
But last week they had a sale where every movie in stock was 50% off, and naturally I reacted by going apeshit in their online store. In my defense, I did trim down the list significantly, and if you amortize the cost across the past several years that I’ve been pledging to pick them up someday, then it’s really not that bad.
Have a look at my purchases, won’t you.
Miller’s Crossing
For a long time, this was my favorite movie, and it’s still up there in competition with Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Empire Strikes Back. It’s a masterpiece, and my experience watching it the first time is still burned into my memory. I don’t know if the story is true that the Coens invented the slang used throughout the movie, because who’re you gonna believe? But I can imagine it’s true, because the scenes of characters firing lines of dialogue back and forth can be every bit as gripping as all the murders and fiery shootouts and tense showdowns.
Blood Simple
An experiment in style and suspense, where you become completely invested in the fates and livelihoods of some of the rock-stupidest people. I already have at least one other copy of this, but I wanted the top-of-the-line edition, if only for the special features.
Inside Llewyn Davis
Not my favorite of the Coen Brothers movies, but I do want to get definitive editions of all of them. I’ve kind of avoided reading too much about the Coens themselves or their process, to “preserve the mystique” as Llewyn Davis would say1I think that’s the phrase he uses? but also I live in constant fear that I’m going to find out that my interpretation of all their brilliant movies is entirely wrong. But this one has an interview with the Coens and Guillermo del Toro, which sounds fascinating.
Pan’s Labyrinth
My initial reaction to this one, way back when, was that it was excellent, but I hated watching it. I was completely unprepared at the time for how violent and scary it was. I’d probably have an easier time watching it again now, especially since I have a better idea what to expect. Regardless, I wanted to have a Criterion-worthy copy, because even though I didn’t enjoy it, I could recognize that it’s a classic.
Police Story/Police Story 2
Police Story 3 (Supercop) is what started my whole obsession with Michelle Yeoh, but I’ve never seen the first two. And I realized I don’t think I’ve ever seen another non-Hollywood Jackie Chan movie! As I understand it, these are as close as you can get to definitive Hong Kong action movies, so I’m really looking forward to completing the trilogy.
His Girl Friday
A candidate for my short list of favorite movies, I saw this one as a freshman in college and immediately loved it. Watching it felt like it was somehow unstuck in time, since the dialogue and performances and humor all felt so modern, even though the props and costumes clearly come from the late 1930s. I’ve got a copy of this on DVD somewhere, but it was a grainy, low-effort version that most likely came from a bargain bin.
Black Narcissus
This and The Red Shoes are the two Powell and Pressburger movies that have been on my to-watch list forever, but I haven’t yet seen. And based on what I know of the latter, I’m content to rent it or stream it at some point. But every still that I’ve ever seen from Black Narcissus makes it seem gorgeous and intriguing. I got introduced to Powell and Pressburger in my freshman year of college as well, with Stairway to Heaven/A Matter of Life and Death, and I was immediately a fan.
Honorable Mentions
A few others I had in the shopping cart until I regained some impulse control:
The Heroic Trio/Executioners
The Heroic Trio is absolutely insane, a nonsensical spectacle intended to put together three huge Hong Kong stars and a ton of over-the-top stunts. The sequel is not as fun, in my opinion, since it felt like they took everything that made the first movie so enjoyable and then tried to make an objectively good movie out of it. I had this in my cart but removed it at the last minute, and I almost instantly regretted it. I ended up buying the streaming versions instead (they’re available through Apple’s TV app, if that’s your thing, and also on the Criterion Channel streaming service), since I honestly put them in the “watch this crazy thing with me” category instead of the must-own heirloom category.
The Devil’s Backbone
Another Guillermo del Toro movie I saw around the same time as Pan’s Labyrinth. I remember liking it quite a lot, but I don’t remember enough of it to make it something I’d want to keep going back to.
Guillermo del Toro’s Pinnochio
I haven’t seen it yet, which feels like an oversight, but I’ve got a backlog of animated movies that I know are likely brilliant, but I still haven’t gotten around to actually watching any of them. I briefly considered getting a trio of del Toro’s movies (I’m not particularly interested in Cronos), but luckily for my credit balance, I decided to stop at one.
The Night of the Hunter
This movie is weird and brilliant, but the only part of the Criterion edition that seemed compelling was an included clip of the cast performing a deleted scene on the Ed Sullivan show.
Incidentally, I think this post violates the whole intended format of The Criterion Closet, since I think it’s supposed to be more than just somebody making a shopping list of movies, some of which they haven’t seen, and saying “that movie was cool.” If anybody’s interested (for some reason) in a list of my must-haves from Criterion’s catalogs, that I’ve actually watched, then I could do that at some point.