Our Feature Presentation

Today at the office, Jake made the startling and unsettling discovery that Cinemark’s Front-Row Joe is not a new creation, but an ancient abomination, most likely one of the cinema-trailer Elder Gods bent on bringing about Ragnarök.

But I suspect he’s still mostly a West Coast phenomenon; the trailers I’ve been nostalgic for were much cooler. And they’re on YouTube!

Oldest is the never-forgettable high-hat of the General Cinema trailer:

Which, like all great things, was eventually bastardized with a horrifying “update” featuring inexplicably cannibalistic CG candy (I blame the California Raisins and of course that iconic HBO intro clip:)

General Cinema’s most shining moment, though, was the brief genius of the Space Ride Through the Concessions Belt, and its eternally baffling non-sequitur finale. (Popcorn… candy… throw away my trash… okay I see where you’re going with this, GC… and so the message of this film is obviously… whaaaaa?!?)

Incidentally, the Space Candy trailer was well-known enough to get a most excellent parody version on MST3k in the Teenagers from Outer Space episode.

And on the topic of 80s iconography and cool YouTube videos, here’s my new favorite video on the internet, a music video for the song “DVNO”, which is apparently by a Daft Punk-esque group called “Justice” that I never heard of. (via the Drawn! blog).