Monthly Archives: March 2008

So how was your morning?

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I’m going to write about this on the internet, since I didn’t get to complain about it to anybody today: Despite all my best intentions, I’m a habitually tardy person. (Tardy as in not punctual, in case it means something [...]

johnmcclane.jpgI’m going to write about this on the internet, since I didn’t get to complain about it to anybody today:

Despite all my best intentions, I’m a habitually tardy person. (Tardy as in not punctual, in case it means something else to the kids these days. But I probably qualify as that, too). I try to get to places on time, but then everything starts working against me, from insomnia to just plain cruel fate.

I had a meeting this morning for work, and I got about four hours of sleep last night. Which is why I was as stunned that I managed to get up in plenty of time to make it in. Sweet. It gave me an excuse to putter around in the morning for once, and still with time to spare. Hell, I could even sit back and have my Georgia boy’s breakfast in a real grown-up person’s glass instead of grabbing a can to swill down in the car.

I checked out the window, and a car was blocking my driveway. Hey, no problem! It’s kind of annoying how often it happens, but this would give me a few minutes before I had to get dressed and all that. I wouldn’t be early, but I wasn’t in danger of being late.

So then I sit back to leisurely check my e-mail, and I knock the glass off the desk. And I’ve got wood floors, so it doesn’t just break; it shatters. Actually, even “shatters” is under-selling it. You usually don’t see glass breaking like this unless it’s in slow motion and somebody is jumping through it firing two guns at once. It was epic.

For some reason, my first thought wasn’t “I better put some shoes on and clean this up,” but “I better clean this up before the cat steps on it.” I’m only mentioning that because I’m hoping my concern for my pet will somehow make me sound better when I explain the parade of idiocy that followed.

I jump up to get the vacuum cleaner — step right on a piece of glass. Hurts, but nothing too serious. I pick it out, think, “that was kind of dumb of me,” and then commence to picking up the bigger pieces.

And stepped on pieces two and three while I was doing that. That’s when I start to realize this was more serious than it looked — there was glass everywhere.

So I finally get the big stuff squared away, and take the long way around to the kitchen to get the vacuum — step on piece four. That’s the one that really hurt. It’s also the one I can’t explain — I’m going to have to commission a sophisticated computer simulation to figure out how a glass breaking can send a shard flying behind the direction of impact to end up behind a doorjamb and lie in wait for me to come walking on it.

I limp over to the kitchen and get the vacuum, then clean up all the visible pieces, and the surrounding area for good measure. I found pieces in my living room, a good 15 feet away from where the glass broke.

At no point in this process did it occur to me to put on my shoes.

Meanwhile, the cat’s waiting just outside the blast radius, looking at me like I’m an idiot. When I was putting the vacuum away, a bucket fell on my head, and then I stepped on a rake.

I get it all squared away, and I’m standing in my bedroom in my underwear, limping and bleeding, when I look at the clock and see that my meeting starts in two minutes.

Finally I was able to stop cussing and get ready for work, picked pieces of glass out of my backpack (12 feet away from ground zero), and was able to leave this cursed apartment. The person blocking my driveway had long since left, incidentally — I’m guessing the screaming coming from my apartment scared them away.

So that’s the kind of thing I mean when I say that the universe is conspiring to keep me late for things.

World of Goo

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I’m not going to even try to think up a clever title for this one, since the game in question is so purposefully wry that adding more here would be overkill. But it’s a good game, and it’s called World [...]

fistythumb.jpgI’m not going to even try to think up a clever title for this one, since the game in question is so purposefully wry that adding more here would be overkill.

But it’s a good game, and it’s called World of Goo, and you can pre-order it to get a preview copy (for Windows) right now.

It’s been getting a lot of buzz for a while now, getting awards from the Independent Games Festival and mentions on videogame-related blogs all over the place. Anyone who’s even remotely interested in the idea should definitely try the pre-order/preview route, because it completely surprised me.

The concept itself — a physics-based puzzle game — would be interesting enough, but what I wasn’t expecting is the amount of variety they’d be able to get out of it. None of the levels in the first chapter are exactly the same, and it’s remarkable how they managed to take the same basic mechanic and apply it to puzzles that feel completely different.

The entire thing has an extremely slick and professional production, from the graphic design to some terrific music throughout. Best of all, the design doesn’t get in the way of the game, but is all put in the service of making it easy to pick up and start playing — you always know what you’re trying to do, and can instantly start thinking about how you’re going to do it. It’s hard to believe that this was made primarily by a 2-person studio.

Best of all, the game’s coming out for PC and Mac and Linux and the Wii. (Again, the preview copy is Windows only, but a pre-order will get you the Mac & Linux version when it’s released).

It’s an astoundingly well-produced “debut” game (at least one of the 2DBoy boys is involved in the Experimental Gameplay Project and is constantly cranking out new games), and should have every videogame fan looking forward to seeing what they can come up with next.

Was she a great, big, pregnant person?

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This week’s episode of “Lost” was called “Ji Yeon,” and it was about Sun & Jin, which means it’s another chance to get your weep on. (Warning: Every post on here about “Lost” contains spoilers). It was pretty clear early [...]

lostsunandjin.jpg
This week’s episode of “Lost” was called “Ji Yeon,” and it was about Sun & Jin, which means it’s another chance to get your weep on. (Warning: Every post on here about “Lost” contains spoilers).

It was pretty clear early on that they were doing a Jame Gumb-in-Silence of the Lambs style reveal, in which Jin wasn’t going to meet up with Sun. But all along I was hoping that they were building up to a reveal of two separate future timelines: one in which Sun made it off the island, and one in which Jin made it off (and had remarried). Not to second-guess the writers or anything, but I think that would’ve been a lot more poignant than the simple “Jin’s dead that’s sad the end.”

Which is still pretty sad, but considering how much the writers want to see Sun and Jin miserable, and how much they’ve been pushing time travel this year, it seems like you’d get more mileage out of a story of two lovers separated by time.

On the off-chance anybody from the production staff is doing a Google blog search on the show: You guys have my official permission to pull whatever kind of stunt or contrivance is necessary to give Sun & Jin a happy ending. Time travel, a big Dharma RESET button, the non-Oceanic 6 passengers aren’t really dead but still trapped on the island, even Sun waking up to find it was all just a dream. Whatever it takes to give those guys one break after six years.

Also this episode: we learned the shocking identity of Ben’s man on the boat! The interesting part of the subplot, of course, is what’s causing people on the boat to kill themselves by drowning or whatever it is that could make a huge bloodstain on a wall.

The new information:

  • Something’s causing people on the freighter to commit suicide.
  • Widmore and the people on his freighter think it was Ben who staged the “fake” Oceanic 815 wreckage at the beginning of the season.
  • Assuming Juliet’s figures are correct, the “Oceanic 6″ will get off the island within five weeks.
  • Did anybody else notice Sun’s TV was playing that episode of “Xpose” (the late Nikki’s TV series) at the beginning?

And questions:

  • What was making that clanging noise on the boat that Desmond was complaining about? I was assuming at first that it was Morse Code, but then pretty much every person on the boat should’ve been able to understand Morse Code, not just Sayid. If it were a code, was Michael sending it, or someone interesting?
  • How did Hurley get out of the psych ward to visit Sun in Korea? Or was this before he started seeing Charlie’s ghost?
  • Where have I seen that guy who plays the captain before? He looks totally familiar.

Literacy 2008: Book 5: Mere Christianity

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Book Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis Synopsis Originally presented as a series of lectures on BBC Radio during World War II, this book is Lewis’s attempt to describe and defend the fundamental beliefs of Christianity, regardless of any particular church [...]

merechristianity.jpgBook
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Synopsis
Originally presented as a series of lectures on BBC Radio during World War II, this book is Lewis’s attempt to describe and defend the fundamental beliefs of Christianity, regardless of any particular church or denomination. It’s presented from the perspective of a former atheist who converted to Christianity, speaking as a layman instead of a theologist, and using informal and conversational language throughout.

Pros
Sees science and intellect as supplements to religious belief, not opponents of it. Describes the path from atheism to Christianity as a philosophical and ethical question, not as one of dogma or simply faith. Provides contemporary (for the 1940s) examples of the Seven Virtues and other ideals, instead of just quoting parables or passages from scripture. Encourages the reader to reject parts of the book if they don’t provide any illumination for him. Gives the clearest explanation of the Trinity that I’ve ever heard; for the first time, I feel like I understand the concept.

Cons
Although the book is marketed as “timeless,” it is very much the product of a man born in the United Kingdom at the turn of the 20th century and coming of age during WWI. His views on patriotism and war, feminism, sexuality, homosexuality, race relations, and non-Christian belief systems are almost comically dated and so conservative as to be offensive. (For example: men should be in charge of the household, because somebody’s got to be in charge, and women don’t have the temperament for it).

Although he doesn’t use the word “faith” when describing the transition from atheism to theism, his arguments still frequently reduce to faith. His position is logical but not airtight, and at some points he still ends up in a circular or empty argument: God must exist because otherwise we wouldn’t want Him to exist; and Jesus must be the son of God because He said He was, and only a lunatic would claim that if he weren’t.

And although Lewis describes himself as a former atheist, he really comes across as a formerly lapsed Christian. When he refers to his old beliefs, they sound like a man raised Christian who’s had a crisis of faith, but is struggling to believe again. As a result, the book doesn’t seem to offer much to “modern” atheists (those not brought up in a religious household), or people of non-Christian beliefs. He’s very dismissive of atheism and other religions, calling them “childish” or “simple” when he deigns to mention them at all.

And he has an irritating tendency to trivialize the Nazis, lumping them in with nuisances like the guy who steals your seat on the bus.

Verdict
The book is conversational and for the most part pleasant to read; even the “offensive” bits aren’t anywhere near as spiteful and judgmental as modern-day evangelists tend to be, but more a jarring reminder of when and where the book was written. But I can’t really see who would benefit from it apart from people who are already Christians and have never truly tested their faith, or Christians who are having a crisis of faith and want to get back into the fold. Non-Christians will likely be turned off in the early chapters. As it was, I started out the book mostly on Lewis’s side, and I still objected to it more often than I agreed with it.

Arch Fiend

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A month or so before The Darjeeling Limited was released, they made the Hotel Chevalier short film available on iTunes. Watching that sucked away any desire I’d had to see the full movie. I just kept thinking: This! This is [...]

darjeelingtrain.jpg
A month or so before The Darjeeling Limited was released, they made the Hotel Chevalier short film available on iTunes. Watching that sucked away any desire I’d had to see the full movie. I just kept thinking: This! This is exactly what people hate about Wes Anderson movies! It’s so overcrowded with affectations and artificially enigmatic dialogue that forces you to struggle to find some semblance of meaning, only to find the entire production crew smirking back at you.

It helps a little that the short film turns out to be a short story as written by the most self-satisfied character in the full movie, but the full movie still has most of the same flaws. I’d reckon that it’s got about 60% of what Anderson’s fans (including myself) love about his movies, but still 100% of what we hate.

Visually, it’s astounding. You often hear about authors and filmmakers making a work that’s essentially a love letter to a place, but somehow the magic of it never quite carries through; you go away thinking, “I guess you had to be there.” That’s not the case with The Darjeeling Limited’s version of India. There’s not a location in the movie that you can’t imagine seeing and immediately wanting to make a movie of it. And I have to wonder if the real version has that same color: they must’ve done some post-processing on it to make everything look that way, right?

But the story meanders, forcing you to keep paying attention to characters that stopped being interesting about 20 minutes in. But what disappointed me the most was how clumsy so much of it was: the guys dragging around their father’s baggage, Owen Wilson’s character taking off his bandages and saying “Looks like I’ve got some more healing to do,” their mother’s leaving them one final time followed by a cringe-inducing ritual on the top of a mountain. This is the “depth” we get, from the same people who made three movies that can have me going from “bemused” to “bawling in the middle of a crowded theater” on the basis of just one line?

The movie opens with another fairly ham-fisted scene, where Bill Murray’s desperately trying to catch the train but is passed at the station by Adrien Brody. ‘Cause you see, Anderson’s movies have built up this little repertory group, but Murray can’t quite make it into this one but hey folks let’s welcome our new co-star. I can remember a time when I would’ve thought this was extremely clever, but here it just annoyed me.

One good thing this movie does is give more evidence of how collaborative the moviemaking process is. I have been, and will likely continue to, refer to these movies as “Wes Anderson” movies. (I’ll point out that in this case, that’s just something that movie fans like me do; from everything I’ve seen, Anderson acknowledges the people in his group without hesitation, and never attempts to put forward the movies as being all his work). And the auteur theory has merit insofar as you can definitely see his influence in all of them — from the diorama-like composition down to the choice of title font, you’re given no choice but to see his hand in them.

(And by the way, if there had been one more long tracking shot of people walking or running in slow motion for no particular reason, I would’ve ejected the DVD immediately and it would’ve taken all my resolve not to smash the disc right then and there).

But the movies only transcend “visually interesting” when there’s somebody in the cast who can both live inside all of the excess eccentricity, and then cut through it to get at a real moment. All of these characters live in super-fake worlds with super-saturated colors and British Invasion music playing somewhere off in the distance, and they’ve all got their neuroses and personality flaws on display as if they were name tags. It all swirls around, begging for attention like a child, building up to the point where you think it’s going to collapse under the weight of its own artifice. Then it delivers one moment that peels all the artifice back and simply and succinctly says what the whole thing has been all about: in The Life Aquatic, it’s “I wonder if it remembers me;” in Rushmore, it’s Bill Murray’s character showing up for a haircut; and in The Royal Tenenbaums, it’s “It’s been a rough year, Dad.” (either Gene Hackman is a suitable substitute for Murray, or Ben Stiller’s a better actor than I’m willing to give him credit for). The Darjeeling Limited made me realize that how much I like a “Wes Anderson movie” is directly proportional to the size of Bill Murray’s part in it.

Roy Blount Jr. wrote an essay about Murray’s career (the two are good friends, apparently), saying basically that Murray’s greatest talent is being able to exist in the world of a movie and in the world of the audience at the same time. He doesn’t need to break character or mug at the camera, or stand detached from his character and make fun of everything that’s going on, but you still get the sense that he’s someone in the audience who stepped into a movie and is having a blast with it. Blount’s article was about Ghostbusters, but I think Rushmore and The Life Aquatic are the movies that make the best use of Murray’s talents.

They desperately need someone to ground them, to give the audience a point of focus as well as a reminder that all of this artifice is actually going somewhere, that there’s a point to it. I can see how The Darjeeling Limited‘s “spiritual journey” demands a certain amount of meandering “it’s not the destination but the journey” pointlessness, but ultimately, I needed there to be something “real” behind it all.