Maybe you’ve heard about Telltale’s Sam & Max games, and you’ve had your little mouse-clicker thing hovering over the “buy” button, but you’ve stopped yourself. “I’m tempted,” you say, “but I’m a strict adherent of post-modernism, and I would only play a game with self-referential humor about videogames and the burgeoning ‘internet’ phenomenon that all the kids are talking about.”

Well that excuse won’t work anymore, chump, because their latest episode, “Reality 2.0,” is available now. Here’s the trailer (higher quality version here):

What’s that? You’ve got more reservations?

But I hate adventure games!
Hey, so do I! But once you start playing these episodic games, it’ll be as if you’d rediscovered a long-dead part of yourself. “This… this is what adventure games are like?” you’ll stammer, a tear forming in your eye, “I’m sorry… I… I never knew.”

I’m recovering from recent surgery. Am I subjecting myself to physical harm from the non-stop side-splitting hilarity?
Calm down, you pansy. It’s still a videogame, and everybody knows they’re still not as well-written as TV sitcoms.

I hate Chuck Jordan and everything he stands for. His participation alone is enough to dissuade me from buying the product.
I told you to stop reading my website, Mom. But for Episode 5, all you have to do is grit your teeth and force your way through the first 15 minutes or so. Everything I wrote is at the beginning.

How do I know that Telltale, Inc. is a name I can trust? I’m wary of internet purchases and Digital Rights Management, and if I buy a game with my own money, I want to be sure that I can still play it ten years from now.
Dude, relax. It’s like nine dollars. I’ve spent that much on a copy of Wired magazine that ended up sitting in a recycle bin after a month. Plus, there are games that I’ve worked on that are less than 10 years old, and I can’t play them anymore. This is the information age! Stuff changes quickly! And the jokes aren’t going to be as funny 10 years from now, anyway.

I thought you were going to get me a free copy.
Yeah, and I thought I’d be married with a house and kids and my first published novel by this age. Life is full of disappointments. Get used to it.

Fans of Lore Sjöberg’s, especially the Book of Ratings, should take a look at his latest experiment. I’m a fan. It’s one of the only cases where adding all the new media internet video podcast hoopla actually improves the original material.

Apparently, it is possible to be too ignorant of the state’s rights vs. federal rights issue, and too complacent in the idea of a Democratic majority in congress magically making everything better. I was totally ignorant of the RealID Act and that it’d progressed so far.

Ars Technica has an article about Real ID and how some states are refusing to adopt the standard. According to the Wikipedia article, California is one of the states eager to adopt it, so it’s still unclear what can be done by those of us who live in CA and are just anti-Federalist enough to be annoyed by the bill, but apparently not so politically savvy that we did anything about it when there was still time.

This Snopes article refutes the more tinfoil-hat level conspiracy concerns, but seems nonplussed about the bill’s legitimacy. I can remember growing up and hearing people in suburban Atlanta freaking out about UPC symbols, ATMs, and even credit cards being either government plots or The Mark of the Beast. So it’s a damn shame that legitimate complaints about this inane bill could come across as similar paranoia.

Going back to the Ars Technica entry, I think the problem is best summed up by this observation:

When considering the potential security implications of the Real ID act, it is worth noting that the 9/11 hijackers were all legal residents with proper identification.

Personally, I tend to be so skeptical of conspiracy theories and privacy paranoia that it could even be called naivete. But even if you dismiss the privacy concerns, the idea of increased federal bureaucracy with no foreseeable benefit should be alarming. A centralized mandate for identification from Washington, forcing the states to modify their already-existing systems to comply? With absolutely no effect on terrorism or illegal immigration, the two areas that homeland security is supposed to care about?

You don’t have to be a libertarian to think that’s pretty stupid, if not downright scary.

Normally, seeing my favorite things come together three separate times in one week would be downright eerie, but I don’t think Hellboy: Sword of Storms counts. For one thing, it’s old news. It was aired on Cartoon Network back in October, and due to a TiVo mishap, I’m just now catching it on DVD. For another thing, nerdy white American guys who think Japanese stuff is just radical is hardly some eclectic, obscure branch of fandom — it’s basically a demographic.

It’s not that hard to find fans of Hellboy, either — start by looking at the production of the comics or any of the adapations or spin-off projects, and just about everybody involved will confess to being a Hellboy fanboy. So the people making these things really love the source material. In the case of The Amazing Screw-on Head, you end up with a slavish recreation of the comic. That was an admirable effort, but came out a little bit cold, and also revealed the problems that can come when you try to adapt a very graphic comic art style to animation.

The new series doesn’t do that; they made a conscious effort to give it an art style different from the comics. According to the documentaries included on the DVD, it had to suggest Mignola’s style but at the same time he wanted something that would be more modern and streamlined. On top of all that, it had to be animatable on a television production’s budget. Personally, I’m not floored by the result — I think it’s fine, but if they were going to simplify the characters anyway, I wish they’d taken them a little bit further. The character designs regress into Disney Television Animation mode more than I would’ve liked. There are hints of the comic style all over the place (especially the hands, which is a good touch), but the characters frequently look too traditional and too “safe,” like something you’d see on any other TV action series cartoon.

Of course, this is criticism from a guy who knows pretty much nothing about art. And my disappointment that it didn’t go further doesn’t mean I disliked the movie; I’d even say it’s about as good as a TV-animated Hellboy series could possibly turn out. Watching the making-of documentaries, you could really tell that they put a lot of thought into the production, and that they made the right choices all along. And throughout the movie, you can really see what they were doing, even if you don’t entirely agree with how they did it.

As far as subject matter, it was obvious that I was going to be all over it. Most of the movie works like a survey course of The Obakemono Project. (Of course, it also wipes out my plans for NaNoWriMo this year, even though I swear I had the idea a year before I even heard about this movie). Mike Mignola and Guillermo del Toro mention that the original idea just came from wanting to see Hellboy with a samurai sword, and seriously, who wouldn’t want to see that? There are plenty of cool moments taken from the comics, from Japanese folklore in general, and images from classical Japanese art — there’s a great bit with the Gashadokuro, a giant skeleton that was also referenced in Pom Poko.

Apparently the second in the Hellboy Animated series, Blood and Iron, came out last month. I can’t blame the TiVo for missing that one; I was simply unaware that it was coming out. If anbody saw it, let me know how it turned out, because I’m going to have to wait until June to see it.