BBC News: Superman ‘not gay’ says director

Defamer.com’s painful beating-the-joke-into-the-ground

10. Wears blue tights, red cape, boots, and codpiece.

9. Flies around Earth at super-speed, turns back time long enough to deliver snappier comeback to Lex Luthor than earlier “Oh no you didn’t, bitch!”

8. Starts a weblog.

7. Outfits Fortress of Solitude with hot tub, private gym, and ironic 50s and 60s ephemera.

6. Dresses dog in matching costume.

5. Giggles uncontrollably at sexual innuendo.

4. Won’t stop quoting Bring it On.

3. Clark Kent requests transfer from news desk to gossip column.

2. Admits true weakness is not Kryptonite, but the Bravo channel.

1. Reveals that time away from Earth was spent writing a poignant, wry, and bittersweet memoir of his experiences coming to terms with a world that doesn’t understand him.

Thanks to everybody who sent e-mails with sympathy and offers to help; it was appreciated. My daddy’s condition is improving very slowly, but he and the rest of the family are going to be pretty miserable until he gets out of the hospital.

As for me, I’m 3000 miles away, unable to do anything except sit here and worry about it. I’ve got one week back here in San Francisco to get everything in order best as I can. Then it’s back down to Georgia for at least two months, maybe longer. I’d been stressing out enough at the prospect of spending an entire month down in Florida for work, and that was on the assumption I’d be home right up until the last minute to get everything done. Now, my living-out-of-a-suitcase time has been doubled, and I’m convinced that I’m going to forget something.

On the bright side, though: well, I’m sure there’s a bright side in there somewhere.

Update: It’s not fun to think about, I realize, but everyone should take a minute to get familiar with the ASA’s signs to recognize a stroke. They’re not that many to memorize. And it can make a huge difference in the event somebody you love starts showing the signs and you’re wondering whether to call 911 or not.