I’d been concentrating on the heartwarmingly awkward and comedic side of the WonderCon, and I’d forgotten one basic fact: when you get thousands of socially inept people in a building together, it can really get annoying.

We went to see JJ Abrams’ talk about Mission Impossible 3 and he came across as just a good guy: genuinely enthusiastic about his work and about being at the convention, genuinely nice to the fans, neither too self-deprecating nor too arrogant, and showing a career-healthy level of reverence for Tom Cruise. The people all around us, however, were there to see Kevin Smith, who was coming up next. So they talked all through the panel, in their normal, irritating conversational volume.

I’d planned to stick around for Kevin Smith, but I was so annoyed by his followers that I went with Jessica and Jeff to see the panel with TV Creature Feature hosts. And got the same behavior from the people who wandered in waiting to see Grant Morrison. Is it really that hard to just show a little common courtesy?

And when you can get pretty much the entire group interested in what’s happening on stage, like with the Bryan Singer panel about Superman Returns, you get the flip side of rude loud-talkers — the cringingly uncomfortable Q&A session. One of the people was almost hyper-ventilating and couldn’t ask his question. Another criticized the costume. Another mentioned the rumors that Singer had molested young boys in a hotel room. And part of me wants to know what the guy in the banana costume was going to ask, but then the rest of me hates that part of me.

I forget which panel it was — either Bryan Singer or JJ Abrams — but somebody fawned for a minute or so and then asked if he could give them his business card. He got booed by the crowd, and he deserved it.

On the show floor itself, there wasn’t a lot that grabbed my attention. I’d been looking for some recent issues, and everyone was selling silver-age and golden-age stuff. Or crap. Or silver-age and golden-age crap. Some combination of all of those. One of the vendors had all their trade paperbacks discounted, so I picked up a Sandman collection (I’d bought all the single issues of the entire series, but stopped reading them about a year or so before it ended, and then most of my comics were destroyed in a flood at my parents’ house). I also got a Challengers of the Unknown collection that was recommended in one of the blogs that Alfredo had told me about.

So I didn’t bother going back to the show today, and I’ll just head to Isotope and ask them to order the comics I’d been looking for. And still, for some reason, I’m compelled to go to the San Diego one. Guess I’ve got a few months to see if that compulsion lasts.

One day of WonderCon down, and the magic hasn’t really taken hold of my soul yet. I’m hoping that that’s just because it’s a weekday, and most people didn’t have the luxury of working in the morning (I actually got stuff done this morning; I couldn’t be more proud) and then finishing up later that night.

I’m still hoping for big, balls-out displays of nerdosity; that’s a big part of why I bought a three-day pass, after all. I’m hoping that they just have to build to that, because today all I saw was a dull sense of desperation and melancholy. It was like the computer game developer’s conference, but with more women. A middle-aged guy wearing a Captain America T-shirt a couple sizes too small here, Blue Sun and Browncoats T-shirts scattered about, a whisper thin guy dressed up as a vampire there. I want to see full-on I-don’t-give-a-damn-because-I’m-with-my-people men and women in costumes, dammit.

As it was, I got to just be a nerdy fanboy today, instead of looking at them and making fun, pretending that I’m not one. I was hoping to continue my tradition of stalking Steve Purcell, but he didn’t show up. It’s just as well; the last time I saw him was when he pulled up along side me in Emeryville and he honked and waved. That just ruins it. Some people are just too friendly and unassuming to be stalker victims, no matter how much you like their work.

But I think I made up for it around Mike Mignola, though. There was a long line of people at the Dark Horse booth waiting for signatures when I went upstairs to catch the lecture from Telltale Games. When I came back down, the crowd was gone, so I walked up and pulled out my big hardback copy of Art of Hellboy, only to be stopped by a Dark Horse representative telling me that the signing was closed, and they’d had to turn away people 20 minutes ago. And my puppy had died.

So I awkardly and dejectedly put my book back in my backpack and shuffled across to the Metreon to drown my disappointment in soba. Afterward I caught the end of a session about Mirrormask (which I still haven’t seen but is coming out on DVD next week), and then the Q&A with Mignola. He kept pretty much the entire time open for questions, and there were actually some good questions asked — I didn’t see any awkward and uncomfortable gushing fanboy comments (they wouldn’t give me the microphone, dammit) or just dumb questions.

Actually, I did ask what’s the status of “The Amazing Screw-on Head,” and he said they’re finishing up the pilot and it should air on SciFi this year; he hasn’t seen it. He also said that he didn’t plan to do any more Screw-on Head comics, because everything he wanted to do with the characters and setting, he managed to get in that one book.

Other stuff: Hellboy 2 is in preliminary talks and could be Guillermo del Toro’s next movie; it depends on his schedule. A couple of Hellboy animated movies are in the works to probably air on Cartoon Network; if popular, they could turn into a series. (Mignola later said that they’re in the storyboard phase and he’s acting as a consultant and plotter but isn’t directly involved other than that). In the comic books, Duncan Fegredo is taking over art for the next three Hellboy mini-series; Mignola said that he sees Fegredo’s three series as Act II in the Hellboy story, and when he takes the book back over after that, it’ll be the final act. He finally knows where he wants to take the character and the story. He also said he appreciates the time he has where he doesn’t have to draw Hellboy or BPRD, because he can work on side projects like Screw-on Head.

After all that, he went back down to the show floor and signed more books, and I finally got to get an autograph and a sketch of Hellboy. He was selling sketchbooks celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Hellboy, and I bought one of those, too. I’d brought my copy of Screw-on Head, but said it was so dark there was no good place to sign it, but he did anyway. When I told him that I thought that was my favorite single comic book ever, he replied that it was probably one of his as well; he was really happy with how it turned out. And he didn’t want to push his luck and make another story that wasn’t as good.

Later I saw Scott Shaw! (he uses the exclamation point) at a booth and I stopped by to say that I was a huge fan of Captain Carrot & His Amazing Zoo Crew “when I was a little kid.” I guess that was kind of rude, in retrospect. Ah well, I’m still going through my awkward phase. And he reminded me that they appeared in a fairly the most recent issue of Teen Titans, so I came out learning something. Learning is growing.

Really, though: I still don’t get the whole idea of being laid back and chatting with comics creators at these things. You’re in an artificial situation to start with, there are a ton of people who also want to get in to get an autograph or picture or whatever, and besides, what is there really left to say after, “That was so awesome.” I thought part of the appeal of comic books was that once marked as a fan, you didn’t have to make conversation with people or be socially adept.

I’ve got two posts up on SFist this week, one about an iTunes promotion and the other advertising the WonderCon. Which means that in just a few short months I’ve gone from any pretense of thoughtful opinion and commentary on tech stories, to being a shameless corporate shill.

As I find myself working for big corporations, and more and more often defending other big corporations online, I have to live in constant fear that I’m turning Republican. At the moment, I believe I’m still safe.

My friend and ex-college roommate John found this website recently and commented he’d read the archives, which prompted me to read the archives, where I discovered a couple of things:

1. I can be a really whiny little bitch.
2. I’ve been remarkably lucky to get the jobs I’ve gotten.
3. My last job was really unhealthy.

At the time, I wrote it off as sacrifices you have to make for the sake of working for a big corporation that gets the A-list titles the proper amount of exposure, and it’s the price you pay for working for something that you feel passionately invested in. Well, I’m working for another big multinational entertainment consortium at the moment, and I’m on a project that I’m emotionally invested in, and I’m making enough money to live comfortably. And it’s like night and day.

There are still hassles and frustrations and overtime, and the bonus of working from home has the concession of having no solid structure, no benefits, and no social network. This is about as close to a “perfect” job as I’m ever going to get, and it’s still not perfect because there’s no such thing. But it’s a billion times better, because there’s none of the debilitating stress episodes. Where you’re sitting in the dark at four in the morning and the walls are caving in and you’re wondering what it all means. Or, as the HR department liked to call it, “work/life balance.”

I haven’t really hit on any big epiphany yet, other than I really think it’s possible to have a job that’s rewarding and doesn’t totally consume your life. If I knew what it was, exactly, then I’d be able to write self-help books and leave this weblog bullshit to the amateurs.

Whenever I get in the middle of one of my removed-from-the-human-world phases (my friend Dan called it “Chuck Standard Time”), I have trouble remembering what day of the week it is.

When I went outside this “morning,” I had trouble remembering what month it is. February in San Francisco and it’s just shy of 70 degrees outside. It’s San Diego weather. I’ve never been to San Diego, but I’ve always heard it’s like this all the time there.

And yeah, I’ll find a way to complain about good weather. If the weather’s good, then that just means I’ve got less of an excuse to be a shut-in. When it’s cold and foggy outside, then I don’t feel so bad if I spend the afternoon browsing websites and then stay up until five AM working on Java code and then can’t get up the next morning until just before noon.

But if the damn atmosphere is going to be pulling this kind of shit on me, then that means I’m going to have to be getting up in the morning and “enjoying the day” or some such. Pah! If anyone needs me, I’ll be hunched over my IDE*.

* Integrated Development Environment — your ever-lovin’ editor!

Boing Boing.net mentioned a new show called “The IT Crowd” from Graham Linehan, creator/producer/writer of “Father Ted.” Their angle was the Electronic Frontier Foundation and that it appeals to the sysadmin crowd, but I think it’d be funny even to non-geeks. (Speaking as a geek; your mileage may vary).

The first couple of episodes, and more info, are available online, linked from the “AtariBoy” blog. I got them off BitTorrent and they’re worth blogging about. It’s good, bizarre stuff, and you don’t have to be a fan of nerdity to appreciate it any more than you have to be Catholic to like “Father Ted.”

Still, my favorite line from the first episode is “I’m sorry, are you from the past?”

I never signed up for the local FasTrak™ thing, even though it seems like it’d be right up my toll lane — it’s futuristic high technology of the future, using lasers and high-frequency cosmic rays to automatically detect your car; it’s tailored to absent-minded types; and it’d be another bill to pay. But I never drove over toll bridges enough to warrant it, and there’s something inexplicable that I just like about doing it the old-fashioned way: you stop, say hello, give a person some money, and there’s a 1% chance they’ll say hello back. Closest I get to Lake Woebegon Days and a simpler time.

When I worked in Berkeley and lived in Marin, I forgot my toll on the Richmond bridge a few times. They’d make me stop and fill out a little form, with all the cars behind me honking and giving me the finger and trying to get around me into another toll lane. (In my defense, there were a couple of times that I paid the toll for somebody behind me, after they asked me to). Still, no FasTrak™ for me.

By this time, it’s become kind of a philosophical issue. I don’t want it because I never had it. And when people try to sell me on it now (it’s easier, and it actually saves you money!) it just sounds to me like body snatchers or pod people.

And growing up in a household that flirted with fundamentalist Christianity off and on, I saw a lot of televangelists with a lot of wacky theories; one of the wackiest being that ATM cards and/or the UPC code were the Mark of the Beast prophesied in Revelations. Maybe some of that stuck with me, because while I’m fine with ATMs and actually think bar code scanners are neat, I’m still subconsciously averse to being part of a big government conspiracy in league with Satan.

So a couple of weeks ago, I was driving back to the city from Marin and got to the bridge before I realized I didn’t have money for the toll. It was late, so I wasn’t backing up traffic, and I just told the guy that I didn’t have any cash on me. Instead of making me fill out a form, he just said, “Okay, we’ll send you a bill.” I asked if I needed to do anything else, and he said that that was it.

I remember thinking at the time, well that’s progress. No hassle for people, and I just get a bill with a little fee tacked on, and the world returns to normal.

Today I got a “NOTICE OF TOLL EVASION” from the FasTrak™ customer service center. It had a photo of my offending vehicle and a reminder that “penalties or fees may be charged if the proper toll is not paid.” Fair enough, I thought, and I’ll just write a check for the five dollar bridge toll and the… twenty-five dollar toll evasion penalty!

That’s right, the penalty isn’t the 5-10 dollars it’s been in the past, but five times the bridge toll itself. The fast and courteous service of your Bay Area toll takers doesn’t come for free, apparently.

But wait! There’s still hope, thanks to the friendly folks at FasTrak™. If you’re a first-time violator, you can have your penalty waived, simply by opening a FasTrak™ account! Once lost as nothing but a mere deadbeat, I can find redemption for the mere cost of a $30 transponder that I affix to my dashboard and take with me wherever I go.

Hail Satan!

Continuing my fixation on things Japanesey, here’s a video from YouTube about sushi etiquette.

Big laughs with two Fs. (Okay, it’s more wry than big laughs, but it’s worth the wait.)

Also on YouTube is that SNL sketch where Chris Farley’s character goes on a Japanese game show.

Update: I removed the video because the publishers don’t like it distributed on the internets. Which is understandable; it’s clearly more professional than a fan-made movie. It’d be cooler if the company made it clear how to get a legit copy, but until then it’s better to deal with region issues and let people get proper credit & money for their work. (And I’m leaving the YouTube links because I’m a hypocrite who’s noble about copyright law only to the point where I can say “not my problem.”)

Considering how much I love Pom Poko and tanuki, and I got Taiko no Tetsujin mostly because it had dancing kitsune in it, I’m surprised I haven’t seen all of this stuff sooner:

My new favorite website is The Obakemono Project, which is like a web encyclopedia of Japanese folk monsters and spirits. Each one has a description and a drawing that is dead-on ultra-cool perfect. For example, the Aburaakago is a spirit that takes the form of a baby and sucks all the oil out of household lamps.

Raccoons with giant balls and lamp oil-guzzling baby ghosts. And katsu curry rice. I, for one, welcome our new Japanese overlords.

That site leads to The Fantastic Shigeru Mizuki English Language Resource Page, which showcases the work of the Japanese cartoonist and his manga about bakemono. Pretty cool stuff — reminds me of what you’d get if Rat Fink had centuries of folk stories to back it up.

And another link from the Obakemono forums led to the news that The Great Yokai War is playing as part of the SF IndieFest next weekend. It’s a movie about a kid who has to stop a war between various goblins, demons, and evil wizards. I swore I’d never see another Takashi Miike movie after Audition, but word on the street is that it’s not quite his usual fare and even I would be able to tolerate this one.

Now there’s something to look forward to after Wondercon.

Update: The artist’s website is here at DrunkenTengu.com, and pretty much all her stuff is teh coolest.