Disorderly to poke by mouse is accepted in fleshe

I realize that fun with Babel Fish translations is old news, but I’m really enjoying how it handled this Russian review of “Ice Station Santa”, the first episode of Sam & Max season 2.

The only part that I can read is the reviewer gives a 55% (yikes! whatever happened to glasnost?), but the translation makes it sound so much worse. It’s not a game review, it’s prophecy, or the Book of Revelations. I recommend listening to Carmina Burana while reading the translation:

They rose from the ashes. They replaced measurement. They returned in order to take vengeance upon nasty, unreasonable lyudishkam. They will stop not before how. Name by them — the not on the staff police.

Telltale is today proposed to love and to respect, as almost the main stronghold of classical kvestostroya. I love it for a feeling of humor, respect for the rich dzhedayskoye past and blame for the excess regalias. Disorderly to poke by mouse is accepted in fleshe — where here classics?

Division on “good” and “poor” is terrifically popular in Americans. Good Lincoln — poor Lincoln, good Hugh Bliss — Poor Hugh Bliss, Good Santa… Certain, to always simpler translate the kept balance means from the feet to the head, having at one stroke overcome division between reality and absurdity, than to stretch the chain of analogies, to harden natures. Although it is complicated to require depth from the comics, it will not injure to adventure. Alas to me, alas.

Whom now you will astonish by evil Santa By klausom? Why not Iisus, not mother Theresa or check, at the worst? Idea to scrape the favorite of the children Of grincha with the pot-bellied grandfather, who spoils flues, zalyapana by the hands of lazy scenarios. Telltale — not of the squeamish. They began from the robot- philosopher, set By klausom to the house of detectives. Hopes, that house will destroy, and the detectives remove- after all of vosvoyasi, were not realized. Familiar views cut eyes. Finally darkens the mood of rendezvous with Soda Peppers, by debilovatymi Fricks from Season 1. Trinity lurked in the cottage in the region of the north pole, where heroes it will bring in in to the flame of retribution. And instead of the brutal handling above bezdaryami max it fills up by their snows. On whose it to side?

But the gone balmy old man sat down inside and he allows to approach no one to himself, firing from the automaton. In order to banish its seized demon, for associates it is necessary to find… not priest, no. Four riders of apocalypse, four tiny figurines. Rejoice, reactionaries, sobiratel’stvo returned.
[…]
Azh it was wanted filth to make ready. It heard, sent to kopam and President rat with the beetle after the cavity was capable to the coup d’etat… Probably, they will lie.

How to undertake the baking of means, developers decided to probe the related connections. Here to you, if you please, the entire family of beetles in the collection. In rat also it did not manage without the wife and the son. Son, by the way, is sick with the strange matershchinnoy misfortune and pours “pipami” through each word. To crown it all us they will introduce to the daughter To lefti, and at the same time also by its bar. Thus boarded up bar, where they released earlier not for what honey cakes. Excess occasion four additional series to hold pigeons more closely for the apartments.

What point-and-click horrors hast thou wrought, Telltale?

4 thoughts on “Disorderly to poke by mouse is accepted in fleshe”

  1. Yeah, Larry, I don’t think I like the Google version as much. “the pot-bellied grandfather, who spoils flues, by the hands of lazy scenarios” sounds a lot more fun than just “lazy scriptwriters,” but then maybe I’m biased.

    The Google version is more than a little creepy, too. How does “Complaisance Telltale is generally higher than any boundaries” get turned into “Saddam Telltale above any boundaries at all”? Where did that come from?

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