Your Summer Movie Season, Should You Choose to Accept It

He's so refreshingly un-PC!A few weeks ago I was outside the multiplex of the soulless Glendale Galleria, looking at the posters of coming attractions and dreading the summer. Larry the Cable Guy was still playing, and the movies we had to look forward to were The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift and Garfield 2.

I was thinking that there is a reason people aren’t going to see movies much anymore, and the MPAA needs to learn that it’s not because of pirates or bootleggers or DVRs.

But I just got back from seeing Mission: Impossible 3, and not only was it good, but every single trailer they showed beforehand looked like something I’d want to see.

Tonight’s movie first: it’s not going to make anybody’s best movie ever list, but it’s a good, solid summer action movie with plenty of explosions and enough intelligence behind it to never kick you out of the experience. I’d heard people say it’s like “Alias” with Tom Cruise, but not really — it’s a good bit less goofy than “Alias.” And I’ve heard people were averse to see it because of Mr. Cruise, but for all his faults you’ve got to give him credit: once the movie starts, he usually disappears and does a good job. There’s only one bit where he was acting, where he’s telling his fiancee to trust him. The rest is all running from stuff getting blown up, and, which struck me as unusual for an action movie, acting like he’s winded afterwards.

So that’s one down. My take on the rest of the movies I’m interested in seeing, in order, just based on the trailers:

  1. Pirates of the Caribbean 2: I dunno, maybe that makes me a company yes-man or something. The trailer kicks ass. (The trailer I saw tonight isn’t online yet as far as I can tell). Great villain, good one-liners, neat effects, looks like a hell of a lot of fun.
  2. X-Men 3: The buzz around this one is looking worse and worse, but I’m sticking by it.
  3. Superman Returns: I haven’t been able to put my finger on it, but this one just hasn’t really grabbed me. I still think the actor, the suit, Lois Lane, everything except Kevin Spacey as Luthor, just seems “off.” The new trailer is great, though, so that bumped it up the list.
  4. The DaVinci Code: Remember this list is relative. I’m not expecting the movie to be good, but I’m going to see it anyway — I sure as hell am not going to read the book, and the story sounds just interesting enough to make me wonder what all the fuss is about. Plus, Audrey Tautou.
  5. Over the Hedge: I know! I’m surprised too, but it looks like it might actuall be kind of funny. What sells it is William Shatner as a possum.
  6. The Omen: Why do I want to see this one? For you, Damien! It’s all for you! But really, it’s for Mia Farrow as creepy nanny. And because the original is just about the stupidest “thriller” movie ever made, and I’m curious whether it’s possible to make a scary movie out of it. Seriously, the whole movie is like two hours of Gregory Peck going from person to person and having them say, “your son is the devil,” and then dying horribly, and still he never clues in.
  7. Poseidon: And this getting down to the very bottom of the barrel, but it’s summer, and it’s a giant ship that rolls over and sinks. Which is a metaphor for something or other.

Not an outstanding line-up, but still. It should be enough of a diversion until Fall and Snakes on a Plane.

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