Can you smell what The Rock is cutting up with a chainsaw?

What was almost as good as Serenity was seeing the trailer for the new DOOM movie which is going to be out at the end of the month. Hot damn, I can’t wait.

As much as I love the Resident Evil movies (no, really), they still cling to this idea that they’re somehow real movies. They think that deep down, they’re still horror movies using a videogame franchise as the basis for their stories. This is a mistake. And if the trailer is any indication, the braintrust behind DOOM has escaped that trap and made the first true videogame movie that is going to kick so much ass. They’ve got The Rock, who’s awesome; they’ve got the chainsaw, which is awesome; and they sure as hell better have the first-person sequences in the movie, and not make that just a gimmick for the trailer. Because that’s what’ll make this not just another cheesy sci-fi action flick, but a truly transcendently cheesy sci-fi videogame movie.

I didn’t even like Doom 3 that much and lost interest after about a half hour. Looking back on it, they had the reverse problem — it’s a mindless videogame that thought that deep down, it was a sci-fi horror movie. Some games — Half-Life 2 for one — can pull that off, but the Doom guys couldn’t. So the whole thing came across as bland and uninspired. And really, really dark.

In other Martian news, The Pixies Sell Out is coming out on DVD tomorrow. It’s a DVD of last year’s tour with, I’m assuming and hoping, brief interviews and such. There’s a clip from the DVD on which rates a big “meh.” But it was still a good show.

4 thoughts on “Can you smell what The Rock is cutting up with a chainsaw?”

  1. There’s a behind-the-scenes kinda thing in the November PC Gamer. Accoridng to that, the first-person CGI bit is one five-minute scene in the middle of the movie. The article also contains the following quote from The Rock: “I wanted the opportunity to be in a movie that was unapologetic in its efforts to scare the shit out of people.” Which seems to indicate a certain amount of “just not getting it” on behalf of the people making this movie. It also raises the question, “What horror movies has The Rock seen that were apologetic about being scary?” I can’t help but imagine Hugh Grant being involved: “Um, pardon me, terribly sorry to interrupt, but… boo?”

  2. So, in related news, Peter Jackson has apparently signed on to serve as Executive Producer (whatever that means) of the in-production Halo movie…and WETA are providing the special effects. Will PJ lend dignity to a disreputable genre (the video game tie-in)?

  3. Well I don’t know if I’d say Jackson lends “dignity” to anything. The Lord of the Rings had dignity to spare on its own. Jackson just made it interesting, and had enough sense not to mess with it too much. I think better for Halo is that WETA’s involved. I’m not that into the games, so I don’t have much stake in the movie; my gut feeling is that it’ll take itself too seriously and just end up being a bland action sci-fi movie.

    I’m still holding out hope for DOOM, as long as the five-minute first-person sequence is actually in the story and isn’t something like a battle simulation program or something equally lame. They had enough sense to include the multiplayer call signs and the BFG, at least. But now I’m more interested in seeing a horror movie (although I guess it would actually be a comedy) that entirely consists of Hugh Grant trying to scare The Rock, and then The Rock beating the shit out of him.

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